Weird porn animals

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weird porn animals

And you thought your ex was weird in bed? and Research Base in China, came up with the bright idea of showing them 'panda porn'. 22 weird facts about animal sex Here are some of the weirdest facts out there about animal sex: 1) Male It is basically panda porn. If you are excited to learn more about animal sex, we encourage you to watch Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno series. Or just go to the park and see if you can .

The coitus lasts for not longer than minutes. So much for THAT. They bang with a bang: Honey bee It sure is not easy for the males. Treated in true royal fashion, when the queen bee turns sexually mature after being fed with nutritious goo, she takes a flight with a selected dozen or so eligible male drones, who compete midair to mate with the queen. The un lucky few who get to mate with her, die due to the exploding of their genitals.

This also acts as a plug to keep other drones from impregnating her. She then uses the stored sperms throughout her lifetime. Two become one literally! Anglerfish Did you know that the lump on the head of an anglerfish is actually the remains of a male anglerfish? As bizarre as it sounds, the male anglerfish is born without a digestive system, due to which it sticks onto female anglerfish like parasites.

When the female is ready to reproduce, the male is capable of producing as much sperm as is needed to fertilize eggs for years.

weird porn animals

Whiptail Lizards The epicness of the whiptail lizard's bangs comes from the fact that there are no male whiptail lizards involved. So what do the ladies do? They engage in pseudocopulation, wherein they take turns to mount on each other to stimulate the production of eggs. When the eggs hatch, the daughter lizards are all clones of the mother. The art of mating without mating: Instead, they simply detach their penii or penises and let it swim to the female argonaut to impregnate her.

Height of laziness, no? Red-Sided Garter Snake These creatures are super creepy when mating - they mate in volumes. Picture about 30, of them, twisting and turning, writhing under the spell of sex pheromones.

Oh, it gets creepier - there are she-males, who release these pheromones to attract males around them. Though some species only have one and are mocked horribly at earwig urinals, the ones with two tend to have a preference in use, meaning they're either right weinered or left weinered.

Because the earwig's wang is delicate like fine china, if it snaps off they just switch over to the other one and go about their business.

weird porn animals

So far, scientists are unable to tell if a right weinered earwig that has to use his left shoots off with all the girly-throwing power you'd expect. Whereas regular, old fashioned, lights-off sex is good enough for most animals, the garter snake prefers to have sex in big, creepy orgies.

When it comes time for the snakes to hibernate, they'll converge in groups that can number up to 30, which is probably the scariest goddamn thing ever.

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Continue Reading Below Advertisement As the world around them warms up, the mass of snakes leave their den and get to thinking of doing the deed. When a female joins the crowd, up to males will jump her then and form a mating ball, which is exactly what it sounds like.

The snakes coil around one another in an attempt to be the one lucky dude who gets to taste forbidden snake fruit, while the rest dry hump the hell out of each other until they can never look each other in the eye again. Note that some males will actually take advantage of this situation by releasing female pheromones.

10 Animals That Have Weird Mating Rituals

We'll leave it at that. As a result, the lizards are what scientists call "parthenogenetic unisexual pseudocopulators" but what we call "lesbo lizards. Continue Reading Below Advertisement However, proving that porn has many life lessons to teach us, the lizards still need another woman to get the job done.

A butchy female, noted by her small undeveloped eggs, will hop on another female who has rich, robust, ready-to-be-lesbianized eggs, and mock hump her lizard brains out while some awesome jazz plays in the background. An alpha female in the hyena world passes on a super dose of hormones to its young that makes them extra aggressive, which increases their chances of survival.

The downside is that all these extra hormones make mom awfully manish and since hyenas can't have man hands, they get the next best thing: A giant, 7-inch clitoris that just sticks out making people on safari feel shamed and emasculated. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Weird as that is, the further downside for the hyena here is that the birth canal is inside that giant clitoris, so in effect, the female has to give birth through a penis.

This also means the male has to make sweet, awkward, hit-and-miss love to one, which can apparently take months of practice until he can line everything up right. Once the magical moment happens, she pushes him off and puts a cigarette out on his thigh. When they initiate mating, they snuggle up together and lock lips, which isn't easy when you have those bird lips known as "beaks.

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Continue Reading Below Advertisement Like so many off-putting video clips from Japan that find their way into our inbox, the birds mix sex and puking in a way nearly half our editorial staff are uncomfortable with.

Yes, unlike some animals with their adorable-like-a-Disney-cartoon courting rituals that actually take the time to find the female's genitalia, bed bugs at some point just said "fuck it" and developed the most horrifyingly-named mating practice called "traumatic insemination.

It is unclear whether "traumatic" refers to the mating ritual itself or just the fact a bed bug is packing a Johnson as sharp as a Ginsu knife.